her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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