I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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