Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
