I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
