hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize