We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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