Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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