I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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