I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
