threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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