All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i think i have herpe
just one?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
