i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
