Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
