Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize