He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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