You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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