My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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