it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
