i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
