ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
