Taylor Swift is so right about you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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