we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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