I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
