Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
