Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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