Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
