ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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