Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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