Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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