I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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