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he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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