He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
