i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize