I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
