It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish you could order shots online.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize