My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
