I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize