And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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