is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
