YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
