I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
