even my farts smell like vagina
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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