I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
