Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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