yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
