She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
