no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize