we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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