he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
