Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You did what with his pubic hair?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
