If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
