CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
