Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize