So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
