the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Come on in and take your pants off
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
