Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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