we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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