bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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